How to Communicate Professionally Between an Owner and a Manager
When both the owner and manager are comfortable with informal language, including cursing, but the tone used by the manager becomes demeaning or hostile, it can damage trust, morale, and productivity. Here’s how to maintain respectful and effective communication while still allowing natural expression.
1. Address the Issue with a Direct but Respectful Conversation
Since both parties use strong language, the issue isn’t the cursing—it’s the tone and demeaning approach. The owner should have a private and direct conversation with the manager to set expectations.
Example:
“I appreciate that we can have open and direct conversations, and I don’t mind cussing. But the tone sometimes feels more aggressive than necessary. I want us to have clear and effective communication where we both feel respected. Can we work on keeping things straightforward but not demeaning?”
This acknowledges the manager’s communication style while setting a boundary for respect.
2. Set Clear Expectations for Professionalism
Establish a simple communication guideline that reinforces respect, clarity, and accountability without making anyone feel restricted.
- Blunt is fine, but degrading is not.
- Disagreements should be problem-solving, not personal.
- Criticism should be constructive, not belittling.
Example Expectation:
“We can be blunt and honest, but let’s make sure we’re focused on solving problems, not attacking people. If something needs to be addressed, let’s do it in a way that drives solutions rather than making anyone feel small.”
3. Offer a Preferred Method for Conflict Resolution
If tensions rise, it’s useful to have a cooling-off strategy:
- If either person feels the conversation is turning too heated, take a 5-minute pause and resume when emotions settle.
- If a disagreement gets personal, redirect it to a solution-focused approach.
- Use text or email for important decisions instead of reactive in-person discussions.
Example:
“I want us to work through challenges together. If we’re having a disagreement, let’s focus on ‘What’s the solution?’ rather than frustration.”
4. Lead by Example
The owner sets the tone for communication. If the manager gets too aggressive, it’s okay to call it out immediately and calmly.
Example Response to a Harsh Tone:
- “I hear what you’re saying, but let’s keep it about the issue, not personal.”
- “I respect your passion, but let’s focus on solutions instead of frustrations.”
- “Let’s step back and talk about this in a way that helps both of us.”
This subtly redirects the conversation without escalating the conflict.
5. Reinforce with Feedback & Appreciation
If the manager improves their tone, acknowledge it to reinforce the positive behavior.
- Example: “I appreciate how we handled that last discussion. It felt productive and direct without being overly tense.”
If the problem continues, reiterate expectations and, if necessary, implement consequences if the behavior affects operations.
Bottom Line:
- Cursing is fine, but demeaning communication is not.
- Set expectations that conversations should focus on problem-solving, not personal attacks.
- Redirect harsh tones in the moment and focus on solutions.
- Lead by example and reinforce improvements.